Since April 2018, spouses have been able to use the internet to make online applications to divorce their worser half.
And according to official figures, 455 people wasted no time completing online divorce applications between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Day.
Twenty-six people submitted applications on Christmas Eve, 13 on Christmas day, 23 on Boxing Day and 77 on New Year’s Day.
Of the 13 on Christmas day, all were thoroughly pissed by the predictable socks they had once again received whilst their hints for xboxes and expensive jewellery had blatantly been ignored.
The 23 on Boxing day realised they hate their other half’s family and can take no more of this yearly festive obligation shit.
The 26 on Christmas eve anticipated the week ahead and decided to not give nor receive any shit presents, fuck off time with the in laws, not cook for people they have grown to loathe and opted for a Christmas spent care free and inebriated ready for dry January.
The other 77 on New Years day realised the new them, could do better and are embarking on a new year, new divorce venture in support of the ‘new me’ motto.
Of the others, one can only assume all of the above earth shatteringly dawned on them at a some time in between or they were tipped over the edge listening to their lesser half breath or shovel yet another mince pie down their noise hole turkey neck.
