HOT
Duzzers
No Result
View All Result
Duzzers
No Result
View All Result
Home Satire

Cat at your feet plotting to kill you

Duzzy Duzzer by Duzzy Duzzer
December 10, 2018
in Satire
409 4
0
Cat at your feet plotting to kill you
568
SHARES
2.6k
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Your cat ‘innocently’ yet incessantly loitering at your feet, has turned out to be part of a plot to kill you and eat you, it has been confirmed.

Puddleduck Johnson revealed the nationwide ploy last night when he could no longer keep up pretences. “I was so hungry, I couldn’t even remember the last time I ate, the old dear wasn’t getting it, I couldn’t floor the tower, so when her lace came undone I just lost it and tried to ravage her where she stood”.

It turns out cats every where, if not fed on command have a back up plan. They will trip you up and once your down, they will feed on your remains.

Betsy Johnson, Puddleducks human Mum – “I don’t know what had got into him last night, he was a very boisterous boy. I’d just given him some ham to keep him going whilst I cooked up our mackeral, he was doing his usual dance around my feet but I think he must have got over excited when my lace came undone”.

Tags: AnimalsFunnyNews
Duzzy Duzzer

Duzzy Duzzer

Trending

Satire

How to be a cheap bastard this valentines day

3 years ago
Satire

5 underrated ways to use your car hazard lights if you’re a bellend

3 years ago
Satire

People wearing lanyards are more important than you

3 years ago
Entertainment

13 people really pissed about their Christmas gifts

3 years ago
Entertainment

Facebook set to buckle under “new year, new me” posts

3 years ago
ADVERTISEMENT
Duzzers

Duzzers - A place to laugh, be inspired and waste your time when you should be working or studying.

Follow Us

Recent News

How to be a cheap bastard this valentines day

January 16, 2019

5 underrated ways to use your car hazard lights if you’re a bellend

January 15, 2019

Categories

  • Animals
  • Entertainment
  • Lifestyle
  • Nature
  • Politics
  • Satire
  • Uncategorized
  • Videos

Tags

Animals Christmas Entertainment Food Funny Health News PTA Satire School Travel Viral
  • Advertise
  • Privacy & Policy
  • Contact Us

© 2018 Duzzers - Proudly supported by Griffiths Networking.

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Satire
  • Contact Us

© 2018 Duzzers - Proudly supported by Griffiths Networking.

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Fill the forms bellow to register

*By registering into our website, you agree to the Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.
All fields are required. Log In

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.