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New year’s dieters pissed off their clothes still don’t fit

Duzzy Duzzer by Duzzy Duzzer
January 3, 2019
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All the New Year’s dieters are now on day 3 of their “be less of a fat bastard this year resolution” and their clothes still don’t fit.

All the extra food they’ve gobbled down over the festive period had their body pumped and set to burst like an over filled balloon, dangerously restrained by a tight waistband and they’ve been living in pajamas since finishing work for Christmas.

“Fuck it, it’s Christmas” is over and since the New year theyve thought about nothing else than their new, new year’s diet. Come January 2nd when they returned to work, they’ve really had to start implementing this on the basis that clothes no longer do up.

Reflecting on why weight has not yet been lost has offered no clues. They went for a traditional walk on New Years day and ate a banana for pudding last night instead of the usual box of celebrations. Given this is not sustainable to keep up – if no weight is lost by the 7th of January they will give up and just buy new clothes in the sale and try again next year.

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Duzzy Duzzer

Duzzy Duzzer

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