The office control freak has refused to take annual leave in fear that the business may collapse in her absence.
Joan Clark, 48, who has worked in the office since her apprenticeship in the 80’s, has refused to take annual leave for the past ten years believing that she is needed and no one will be able to cope without her essential skills, despite being one of twenty other workers and having never progressed in her role.
Other workers have started a petition but bosses have dismissed it, knowing Joan is in regular contact with HR and consistently reports both the management and other workers. Just last week, William Crawley was reported for giving her a pen that had been chewed on the top claiming “discrimination” on the grounds that he wouldn’t have given such a pen to one of the new, young, attractive office workers.
One of the workers, who has asked to be kept anonymous as last time she spoke up, Ms Clark turned off the fridge so that no one could enjoy fresh, cold milk, said: “The woman thinks she is far superior. Admittedly she is the only one who knows how to change the toner in the printer but that’s no reason to look down on the others.”
Joan’s last day off was in May 2007. In her absence, no paper was ordered, causing a slight inconvience and resulted in Kylie, the new girl, running down to WHJones and picking some up at a slightly higher price than the office suppliers. This sparked outrage on Joan’s return, where she claimed her holiday had been “ruined” and asked what else had gone on. The “tutting” increased and Joan insisted she take on a greater workload, only to complain about it daily.
When approached by management regarding annual leave, Joan repeatedly reminded the management of “what happened last time” and was not reassured that office stationary orders would be fulfilled by management themselves.
Each time a colleague speaks of holidays, days off or anything remotely fun, she exclaims “alright for some” before reminding everyone she is unable to work in such a “hyped” environment and asking them to be quiet.
Asked what Joan’s position was within the company, no one at Boredman and Assosciates were sure. One told us “I don’t really know what she does, she grunted at me once, about 6 years ago but I don’t think she even knows my name. I once had to ask her to help when the printer got jammed with paper. I think management did it on purpose, it was my second day. I could hear them laughing in the office. It was probably some kind of initiation test. She often stands silently behind me, I have no idea why she is watching me work. I have never dared to look around.”
Joan is currently in the kitchen, moaning that no one washes up after themselves and muttering “what are they like in their own homes”. We are informed that shortly after, Joan threw all the mugs in the bin in protest claiming they now contained their own eco-systems.
Joan’s long suffering husband refused to comment, although he did whisper to our researcher “Please, don’t encourage her to have time off”.