As we get older, we seem to slowly turn into our parents.
It’s a slow process, one we are not usually aware of. A gradual aging process, marked by preferring radio 2 to radio 1. Remember when you’re parents called it ‘noise’. Now the hits of your youth are played on radio 2, with radio 1 playing music you’ve never even heard before.
So your preferred radio station has changed. It’s not the station, nor is it the presenters. It’s you, you’re just getting old – But there’s more to it…
Lets have a look at how you live. Going out at the weekend used to start with heading into town, go around the pubs at 7, maybe 8pm have some drinks before heading to the club at 10, or latest 11pm. Now, the kids don’t even go out until 11pm. It’s bedtime! If you do make it to the club, it suddenly hits you, they all look about 12.
You get excited about buying a new vacuum, let’s face it, you’re not staying out late at a club.
Lets take a look around your house. You have the following right?
-Tupperware. Your mum used to have tupperware parties, it seemed like the most pointless, boring ‘party’ on the planet. Now you have a cupboard full of it and you’re wondering if your mum got a discount when she bulk bought all those years ago.
-Crap drawer. Leads that don’t seem to belong to anything but you can’t chuck out ‘just incase’, fuses, various pens- all unchecked. Playing cards from the 90s, a few loose buttons, a pen knife. You know the drawer. You got one.
-A plastic bag full of other plastic bags. The collection used to be bigger, it’s somewhat depleted since the introduction of charging for bags. You have been busy saving the planet but its still there shoved at the bottom of the cupboard with at least £1.20 worth of carrier bags.
-A cook book. Not just one, several. They lie collecting dust on the side on the kitchen worktop. Remember when your mum had at least half a dozen (that’s 6 for our younger readers). There were soups, stews, Indian and that healthy eating one that she clearly never looked at.
-A slow cooker. What an invention! Chuck some food in it, head off to work, return and wallah! Dinner is ready. Who needs a partner, right?
-Exercise DVD. Sonya from Eastenders looks great! You could too, if you actually exercised and stopped putting half the fridge in your slow cooker.
-Kettle ball. You’ve never used it have you? Bought it the same time as the exercise dvd? Stick it with the cook books in the kitchen!
And finally, you use the garage as storage. Why should a car get its own house anyway and where else is all this junk supposed to go? You might need it one day right?