The latest ducks right campaigners have been spreading their doo gooder will and are advising the nation to stop feeding ducks bread. Apparently it’s not good for their digestive system and they’d rather eat bugs and shit.
Morris – a duck from the pond says “what the shit is happening, is there some kind of bread crisis going on in the wake of brexit; I’m starving, I used to get fed about 10 times a day, everyday and now people are chucking food pellets at me once a week- apparently its ‘duck food’ who the bollocks told them that”.
Betty Blyther says “I’m keeping the ducks going down our way, poor miters, no one’s looking out for them no more, I always save me enders, they love it! I don’t know where this generation got it from, in my day ducks ate bread and they ain’t gone extinct yet. If I eat bread then why can’t they?”
Ducks have been reduced to dunking down and scavenging off the pond floor, most are flying south to the rest of Europe in search of bread and the rest are looking for Betty Blyther.
Please note, the above is all bollocks, you probably shouldn’t feed ducks bread.