Workmen everywhere are speaking out in a bid to get you to shut up. When they come round to do your odd jobs that you’re not capable of doing; they did not rock up for the chat.
Paul Smith, a builder from kent says “sometimes I swear they just get me round so i can give them an education in diy; they get me to talk through everything I’m doing and I know full well the geez aint ever gona have the bollocks to give it a go”.
John Green from Southend says “I couldn’t give two shits what your dog did yesterday or what the weathers doing tomorrow, go get the kettle on and crack out your best biscuits”.
Jack Basham sorts out new telephone lines and says “I feel like i’m doing a disservice to the public as some other poor bastard is going to have to listen to their verbal diarrohea once they’re on the network”.
That deafening silence that fills your home when the workmen spill in; turns out it’s only you that hears it. The best way to fill it, the kettle! And maybe the rustling of a pack of jammy dodgers!”